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So I have written about friends before but since I find them so important I feel the need to do it again. Some of my old blogs about friends have been directed at a person or two, in this one I don't mean to do so, even though to write about it I do need to experience the issues. I have two major questions in this blog entry that I would like your fabulous opinions on! First, if you have a friend who seems to be spending their time elsewhere and making little effort to see you anymore what do you do? You have already told them how you feel and they claimed they will change but they don't. They spend more time with their partner and their partners friends then with their old friends. Its not a jealousy thing either its more of being hurt. You go through a lot with friends sometimes and when one just seems to pick up and leave like it doesn't matter and doesn't see the issue you start to question how much of a friend that person is! I am not one for giving up but at some point I feel people need to just let go! Obviously this one I am talking about a specific person and that person reads this on occasion and I am fine with that. What I wonder now is it that I am still hurt by how it has all gone down or is that I miss having someone to joke around with like we use to? I know they don't see it the way I do and maybe I am needier friend then they are and for that I am sorry, but at some point you just lose hope. Its not like we got into some massive fight where we can't talk to each other anymore. Maybe this is just nature taking its course but I would be upset with myself if I didn't fight it. I would love to see this person more and hell I wouldn't mind seeing their partner also I just feel that both them and their partner don't care as much. I think they are both great people but at times I feel like their old friends are left in the back burner. What are your thoughts? How do you fight for a friendship that is important to you without offending your friend and looking like a drama queen?
On the other issue I see is how do you end a friendship? (This one is NOT about the person above at all). So everyone has one or two friends that just seems to be a straight up bitch and when they get into a relationship, a new friendship or school they disappear and seem to not care about you or their other friends anymore. Its one thing to disappear but its another thing to be a bitch to those people who have been there for you for years! I know its hard to end this types of friendships but in the end its much needed. You fight and you fight and you fight and your friend is never the same. So if you confront them on it they see where you are coming from and they claim to work on it but 3 months later it all breaks down again, so you have another talk and then they work on it, and then it happens again and again! So I guess the question is at what point to you say enough is enough? At what point to you just realize that your old friend is now a bitch and just isn't worth the stress. I am one to hold on until the last second, which means I am the last one to give up and that makes it hard. At some point you gotta realize that its not you but its the friend and they don't care for this friendship anymore! We are responsible for our actions and not someone else. At the end of the day (I know this sounds bad) but there is no one more important in our lives then our self and we need to realize that. Take care of you first and them second, and if they are effecting your life in the negative then maybe its time to say bye. That doesn't mean having another conversation with them about it because you will be sucked in, but it means to just go on with your life and if they are there so be it, but its time to place your efforts somewhere else because they just don't appreciate you the way they should!
What are your thoughts? Do you have issues with friends? If you do how do you handle them?
Friends aren't easy sometimes. They remind me a romantic relationships that aren't meant to end so when they do it seems like the end of the world. Surround yourself by people who care for you and people who will fight for you till the end of the earth. We have a fixed amount of time to live and don't waste it on people who don't always care for you and your well being!
I know my girlfriend will ask me what I picked this picture for this article and its simple, its because when I talk about the Heat as a basketball team this right now is the best thing about them! If you don't know the Heat blew a game at home against the Bulls Sunday. They were up by 2 with 20 seconds left and the Bulls at the line. They made the first missed the second, on that rebound they missed the ball and ended up with a lose ball foul on Mike Miller sending Deng back to the line for the Bulls only down by 1. He hit both free throws to take a 1 point lead. In the Heats possession Lebron missed a layup and Wade missed a jumped at the buzzer to lose. The heat are 1-15 in last second plats, which is the worst in the NBA by a lot. They can't win close games, which means they will end up struggling in the playoffs also. I just want to sat before the season started I thought the Heat would be a great team so I want to take a second to apologize for my mistake! Mike Asarch made this call at the start, that the Heat weren't all that good and he was correct! The Heat have 3 all stats but no true SUPERSTAR! (I think a superstar needs to be able to not only take over a game but come through when the game matters the most!). The Heat shouldn't even be able to make it to the Eastern Conference title game so all I can say is better luck next season boys!
As you know on FB, LOL, I recently ended my 16 year friendship because I felt she was no longer the same person. She has always made wrong choices that led her to where she is now, and trust me, that's not solely my opinion, but she has even made notice of it. She had a deadbeat BF that took advantage of her financially and emotionally, and sad to say, but she is the type that is desperate and dumb enough to believe everything HE says. He broke up with her, then hit her up like 2 months later to "reconcile" (but really because he can't pay rent by himself and no one is gonna pick up his son from Vegas), and basically we ended it because she didn't believe I was happy with her, I didn't invite him to my wedding, yada yada yada. I was mad at the fact that she was defending someone that has hurt her so many times and as my WOULD have been maid of honor and friend, I feel like she didn't even try to understand how I felt, and that as her friend all I want for her is to be happy but stressed that she keeps going back to the hurt. She basically chose him over me, and because I am at that age where I would like to live a drama free live and not spend my energy on someone that just isn't listening and making continuous wrong choices; I just had to cut it loose. Yeah I was sad and hurt, but I was more angry because I felt used in the sense I was more her friend than she was mine. But I have a sense of relief that I have no more obligations to her or anyone else, and that I am "free" of that negativity.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you grow up with people and have the same goals, then you grow apart, and realize you aren't the same people you used to be...and that sometimes we are no longer the priority...but in my case, the cons outweighed the pros.
I agree with Vanessa - sometimes friends are great for a period of time and once you reach a crossroads you either each go a different way, or one of you stays behind. Sometimes a situation like this can turn out alright, you accept that not all friendships are meant to last or it can be messy, almost like a break up. In latter case, it's sad to break up with a friend, but sometimes it must be done. No matter how awful it feels at the time and how sad you are over the loss, in the end you will heal, with time it will get easier and you will look back and know that you did the right thing for yourself. Friends should be part of the joy in your life and should be there to help you through tough times - not cause them.
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