Saturday, December 11, 2010

My Day that started at the doctor!

Just an Awkward Place!
So I have been eating and breathing for 25 years now and I haven't written one blog until now!  It all started this morning.  I had a 9 AM visit to the doctor and the second I stepped into the waiting room I realized it was time to blog.  Lets break down a waiting room!  First you walk in and everyone in the room looks at you asking themselves "What is wrong with that kid?" and then they look back down at the 6 month old magazine they are "reading".  Once you sign in and they take the 10th copy of your insurance card and drivers license you make your way to a seat and this is where it gets weird.  Once you are signed in you turn around and look for which seat you will mark as yours!  The number one rule is you must find a seat where there is no one on either side!  This is a must even if it is the worst seat it the house.  If there isn't an open seat with no one next to it then its time to figure out who is the least awkward person to sit next to! Do you want to choose the middle aged man wearing Ed Hardy? The old lady who smells like she needs a changing? Or the kid who is playing with his toys and then when you sit down he expects you to play with his toys also?  Then when you finally sit down if you are lucky enough not to be bothered you get your choice of the ultimate selection of magazines such as, News Week (from 30 weeks ago), Ladies home Journal or National Geographic which is focusing on the magazine itself because it is so old!  The best part of the waiting room is when the nurse opens the door and says your last name "Kleinman" and you put your year old magazine down and look at all the patience in the waiting and just say in your mind "Eat it."

Soup and only SOUP!!!

If I was only so lucky to have that be the worst part of my day but then comes the the rest of my sad pathetic day.  After a 30 min meeting with my doctor and him telling me I need to go on a all liquid diet for the next three days (I will not say what is wrong because I can't spell it anyway).  After learning that my next three days will be filled with soup and Jello I realized I am living the life of an 80 year old man at the age of 25.  I started my day with a great meal called "Red Pepper Creamy Soup" followed by 2 more bowls of it throughout the day.  I didn't mention that my family and I was going one of the best Italian joints in the Valley and I was not going to be able to eat anything!!!!  I arrived at dinner and the first thing I see is amazing garlic rolls and none of it going into my mouth!!! The nine people surrounding me ate them up like they were candy for the first 20 mins of the meal.  Then came time to order and I knew in my heart that one soup just wouldn't cut it for me so I ordered and the worst part I had to ask for broth only.  When the waiter came back to me 5 mins later to ask "Sir to you want the chicken broth as your appetizer and the minestrone broth as your entree? or the other way around?" I realized I was about to experience the worst 3 days in a long time!  First came the chicken soup and then within 5 mins the minestrone came.  I was sitting their two medium sized bowls of soup while there was chicken parmigiana to my right and pasta with pink sauce to me left (the best pasta).  Then on my way home I had to pick up 3 different kinds of Jello that are now sitting in my fridge for tomorrows breakfast!  Yes an all liquid diet could be good for me (I need to shed some down) but if its not on my own terms it blows!!!!

So the advice I give everyone today I will say, 1.  Bring your own magazine to the doctor! and 2.  If your doctor tells you that you need to go on an all liquid diet for medical reasons tell him to "Shove it and you would rather be sick then miss out on solid food!"

Enjoy People!

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